


everything goes

by loveinjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fate & Destiny, M/M, Maybe neither, basically they meet in every lifetime, does this count as angst or fluff, i still dont know how to tag, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 14:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18693415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveinjun/pseuds/loveinjun
Summary: no matter what lifetime it is, jaemin can't help but fall in love with renjun.





	everything goes

"i didn't fall in love with you. i walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. i do believe in fate and destiny, but i also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. and i'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, i'd find you and i'd choose _you_.”― the chaos of stars

* * *

“run away with me.”

jaemin grabs the arm of the other in a hurry, afraid the men will catch them. he can’t believe after 23 years of waiting, that was the first sentence he told huang renjun but what’s even crazier is that renjun is a 47 year-old married man, fate is still the craziest no matter what.

they have been playing this game of cat and mouse for thousands of years, after all, they are fate’s most favourite pair. they get to meet in every lifetime, though it’s not a game without any disadvantage. not once they get to be the same age, although jaemin is always 20 when they come across each other and renjun is either too old or too young to be with him.

“do i know you?” he could hear the confusion in renjun’s voice as they run along the streets of time square in the year 1986. “well the you right now probably don’t.”

“i’m sorry but can you please let go of my arm and stop running?” the older is breathing heavily, from old age no doubt. he tries to pull his limbs from the stranger’s hold, but to no avail since the younger is stronger. the two did not stop running until they reach a building, an apartment most likely, they enter the elevator with jaemin pushing the button to the 23rd floor.

the elevator doors open, revealing the night sky and lights of new york city. 

"woah, i never knew we had this kind of view." renjun exhales, his eyes are glistening with his mouth opening slightly. 

"you're still a sucker for sceneries like this huh?" jaemin chuckles. "still?" the older turns to look at him.

"i'm jaemin, in your last lifetime i was a student of yours in oxford."

"excuse me?" he raises left eyebrow, "last lifetime?" he echoes.

"yep, reincarnation? ever heard of it?" the younger beams.

"i heard of it, but i don't believe it." jaemin watches renjun as he cross his arms, he rolls his eyes and steps closer to the other. "that's what you always say, but at the end you still fall in love with me." 

"i don't fall in love with delusional kids who think they're the shit just because they get high." 

"sorry to break it to you sir but i don't do drugs." he smirks. "what do i have to do for you to believe me, oh wise one."

renjun stays quiet while he glares at the child in front of him, and jaemin, not getting the response he wanted, covers his own eyes. "you have a birthmark in your right hand, people thought it was a bruise but it's not."

the older is still silent so jaemin continues, "you have three moles in your left arm and they form a triangle, you also have a mole in your forehead and its on the left, want anything else?"

"they're physical and you just probably seen them, not good enough for proof."

"your birthday's on march 23, that and your birthmark and moles are constant. no matter what lifetime it is, you're born on the same day and have the same marks on your skin, it's so i could find you easily." he offers the older a small smile.

"how did you know it was me in this life?" 

"i just turned twenty last month, ever since then you've been visiting the cafe my family owns. you always order the same thing, a warm cup of jasmine tea, and whenever you reach for the cup i try so hard to catch a glimpse of your arm."

"do you always look for me?" renjun hesitates. "every time."

"i'm married." he frowns. "i've been married for 20 years now, i can't just leave my spouse for someone who's younger than me and claiming they're my soulmate." 

"i know, i'm not here to tell you to run away with me. just let me talk to you for the whole night, that's it. i don't need anything else." jaemin nervously laugh. _please_.

renjun is obviously reluctant about everything, there's still a possibility that this kid is just fucking with him so he could take his wallet and probably murder him. he wants to leave, wants to run away in hopes that he will never find this jaemin ever again. but his feet is still planted on the floor, as if something is preventing him from moving. he slowly nods his head and he can see the way the younger's eyes shine, his smile blinding the older. 

jaemin quickly grabs renjun's hand to pull him down on the cold floor, it's not the most comfortable but he doesn't mind. 

"you were a female professor, you're teaching psychology. the first thing i noticed when you walked in was your birthmark, you were holding a cup of coffee. i was a bit hesitant, i didn't approach you immediately cause what if i got it wrong again you know? but when you gave me this copy of a book, i saw your moles right away and i instantly knew it was you. i asked you if your birthday was on the 23rd of march and you were like 'how did you know?'" the twinkle on his eyes never went away, as he talks about their encounter in the past lifetime. "how long ago was it?" renjun quietly asks. 

"hmm, 80 years ago? more or less." he shrugs. "you've been waiting for 80 years?" 

"i've been waiting for thousands of years already, but it's fine, i always find you anyways." the sadness in his smile is evident. 

"how come i don't remember you, or any of our past lives." the older furrows his brows.

"fate thinks it's cheating if the two of us can recall, so she picked one instead. which is why i always find you when i'm twenty, not once we're the same age." 

"were there times when you weren't able to find me?" 

"yeah multiple times, there's even a lifetime where you already died before i turned twenty." jaemin pursed his lips.

"did we end up together? when you were my student?" 

"nope, you were a lesbian. had a girlfriend and everything." he says with a grin. "but at the end of the semester, you told me that you fell in love with me. though you can't leave your girlfriend, cause you think i'm way too young for you." 

"just like now?" renjun lets out a small laugh.

"oh so you admit that you already fell for me, mr. huang?" he fights back a smile.

"you wish, twink." renjun rolls his eyes while jaemin laughs.

the night continues as jaemin carries on with his endless stories of renjun's different lives. before they leave the rooftop, renjun holds his hand, "thank you for tonight, i can see why i would fall for you. if we are the same age, maybe we can be together. but it seems like fate has another plan for us." his eyes are full of sadness. 

"it's okay, i'm kind of getting used to this. you, always apologizing to me and thanking me for the night, and me, always falling for you so hard no matter what." jaemin fights back the tears.

he grabs the older's arm when he felt renjun dropped his hand, wanting to tell him to don't let go yet. but renjun doesn't want to go, and so he wraps his arms around the taller's torso; jaemin holds onto renjun as if he's life depended on it, and it kind of does, he finally met his soulmate in this lifetime so he has to wait for a very long time before he sees his other half again. 

_"see you soon jaem."_

 

;;

 

"watch out!"

jaemin was on his way to work when suddenly this car came out of nowhere and almost hit a kid on the sidewalk, so being the nice guy, he tries to save the kid. he grabs the child's arm so he can quickly pull him away from danger. 

"watch where you're going asshole!" he screams, he immediately focus his attention to the kid who's on the verge of tears. "are you okay?" he asks.

"i-i'm okay, i think." the kid stammers. "are you hurt anywhere?" 

he shakes his head but points to his left arm, "your grip is too tight." jaemin instantly lets go of his arm and is about to leave when he catch a glimpse of the younger's moles. 

_noway_.

"what's your name?" he asks with a small smile, trying to calm the kid's nerves.

"i-injun." he sniffles. "where are you headed to, injun?"

"i-i'm supposed to play with jeno in the playground." he points to the other side of the street.

"can i see your right hand for a little bit?" jaemin bends down so he can look at injun in an eye-level. the younger nods and immediately shows his hand to the stranger, "yangyang says it looks bad cause it seems like i got hurt, but jeno says its pretty because it looks like watercolor." injun gives him a toothy smile. 

"jeno's right, it is pretty." jaemin smiles back. "i can't believe i finally found you." 

"why were you looking for me mister?" the kid tilts his head to the side.

"you just mean a lot to me, that's all." 

"like my mom to my dad? like jeno to me?" 

"exactly." he ruffles the younger's hair. "live well renjun-ah, i'll see you soon." 

_ "see you soon, mister." tiny injun waves at jaemin's retreating back. _

 

;;

 

"thanks for volunteering again jaemin."

jaemin shakes his head with a smile on his face, "don't mention it noona, i like doing this anyways." 

"by the way, we have someone who's almost close to the doors." he had been volunteering for a few days now and this is the first time he will experience an elder who is on his final days.

"have i handled them before?" 

"i don't think so, why? want to try for today?" he nods his head with enthusiasm, "if you don't mind." 

the nurse brings him to the room of the patient, she quietly knocks on the door and calls out his name, "renjun? someone's here to take care of you."

jaemin feels his heart beating twice. _his renjun?_

he enters the room with caution with his gaze focusing on the older male lying down on his bed, "nice to meet you sir, my name is jaemin." 

renjun squints his eyes, "jaemin?" 

_ does he remember?  _

"what a silly fucking name." he lets out a breathy laugh, "sit down boy." he motions at the chair beside his bed.

"how old are you?'

"i just turned twenty sir." 

"twenty eh? i remember when i was twenty, homosexuality was still fucking frowned upon, can't even go out on a date with my husband without those harsh stares of other people." he scowls. 

"where is your husband now sir?" jaemin can't help but to ask. 

"been fucking dead for 12 years, donghyuck always said he would go down first." renjun chuckles. 

a smile on jaemin’s face naturally appears as he listen to his other half talking about the life he spent with his late husband, “do you ever miss him?” he asks once, “i always wondered why i have gotten weak, i used to be strong you know, back in the days i barely get hospitalized or get sick, but when i lost hyuck i–“ he trails off, voice slightly cracking. renjun clears his throat and continues, “he probably bribed the universe into making me ill as fuck, he knew i can live without him so he made sure i’m weak as hell when he leaves.” 

“he sounded... great.” 

“the most amazing and beautiful person i ever met.” 

“i’m glad you had someone like him in your life, at least someone took care of you until their last breathe.” 

shortly after renjun fell asleep, even with his mouth wide open and his old-aged face he still looks amazing. jaemin was genuine when he said he was glad renjun had someone in his life that he can lean on, if only they weren’t in this game so he could take care of renjun and grow old with him. but if fate didn’t pick them, he wouldn’t be able to meet renjun in his other lifetimes, he wouldn’t be able to remember his other half and he wouldn’t be able to love him forever. at least, this way he could still encounter him and get to spend time even if it’s short. renjun is still renjun no matter what.

“we don’t think he can last another day, jaemin.” and for the millionth time, jaemin feels his heart breaking. 

“how is he?” 

“barely breathing.” 

“can i see him? please?” 

his footsteps get heavier with every step he takes towards renjun’s room, he knows he should get used to it and even though it had happened so many times, it still hurts nonetheless. 

“hey, kiddo.” renjun croaks, the exhaustion is evident on his face but he still gives jaemin a smile. “i’m almost on the highway to hell.” 

“don’t you mean stairway to heaven?” jaemin lets out a small chuckle.

“i never liked led zeppelin.” he shakes his head. “can’t wait to meet hyuck there, i wonder if he had dethroned satan yet. at least i can be the king of hell’s husband or something.”

“i’m honored to meet you renjun.” jaemin’s eyes are already brimming with tears.

“don’t cry for me kid, i don’t deserve that.” 

“trust me, i cried for you many times now.” he quickly wipes his tears away. 

“well don’t make it the last eh?” he slowly brings out his hand and jaemin immediately holds it, “rest now injun-ah, you’ve been through a lot in this life. i hope you get to be happy again in the next one.” 

_ “see you soon, kid.” _

 

;;

 

“jaemin-ah, it’s three in the morning. let’s go to bed already.” yukhei whines against his boyfriend’s shoulders. he had a long day at work so he just wants to sleep like a log for 12 hours, but he can’t sleep well if jaemin is not beside him in bed. 

“i had 6 cups of coffee today hyung, i can’t really close my eyes even if i wanted to.” jaemin pouts. all of his professors seem to know that he’s graduating next semester so they’re assigning him more homeworks and papers, he just passed his ten-thousand words research paper this evening and he hasn’t eaten yet. 

“i told you i can help you with that paper of yours, i had kwon on my final semester too.” yukhei grumbles, “i know, but i want to do it alone though. just to challenge myself.” yukhei can’t help but roll his eyes. “you’re always saying that, but asking for help doesn’t hurt too.” jaemin chuckles at the older’s worries. “i’ll ask you for help next time hyung, i promise.” he kisses his boyfriend’s temples.

“i’ll go check out the pizza, i’ll be back.” yukhei stands up from the couch, leaving jaemin alone with the tv on. 

he rarely watch television, preferring to go to youtube instead, so he doesn’t know much about what’s the latest shows are. he starts focusing on the drama that is currently airing at the ass crack of dawn when he finally notice the actor. 

_“where have you been? i’ve been waiting for a long time!”_ the actor screams at the other actor who’s off-screen.

_“i thought i’ll never see you again!”_ he pushes the other’s chest with tears streaming down his face.  
“ _i’m here, i’m here…”_ the male lead was pulled in a hug by the other guy. _“i’m not going anywhere.”_

he doesn’t know much about shows but jaemin knows his actors. the other guy acting is mark lee, the rising actor who’s known for accepting different roles. the male lead wraps his arms around the mark lee’s shoulders giving jaemin a glimpse of the back of his hand… with a birthmark that is all too familiar with jaemin. 

jaemin can’t help but let out a sob, eyes brimming with his tears. “jun, why do you have be a fucking actor. out of all the jobs you could have.” he rests his head in his hands. that’s another lifetime added to the ‘seen-but-can’t-talk-to-each-other’ lifetimes. 

“hey, hey. why are you crying?” he feels his boyfriend wrapping his arms around him. yukhei pulls jaemin in a tight hug, “is the drama that sad?” jaemin nods quietly.

“h-he was waiting for the other guy his whole life, a-and he was looking everywhere for him. they finally meet but he can’t even touch him.” he buries his head deeper in yukhei’s chest. 

yukhei turns his head to look at the screen, “jaem what do you mean he can’t touch him?” he asks his boyfriend in confusion. the two actors on screen are still hugging.

_ “i’ll see you around junnie.”  _ jaemin whispers still in yukhei’s arms.

 

;;

 

“guys, gather up! we have new trainees today.” 

three new trainees enter the practice room with a nervous look in their face, one of them is a tiny kid who looks like he’s about to throw up. 

“introduce yourself kids.”

“good morning! my name is dong sicheng, i’m from wenzhou, china and i am a 97 liner.” the first one bows. 

“hello! i am qian kun from fujian, a 96 liner.” the second continues.

“hel– good morning! i am huang renjun from jilin, china and i was born on march 23, 2000.” the third kid stutters but still bows his head.

“these are our new recruits so show them around yeah?”

“hey, that renjun kid is the same age as us.” donghyuck pokes jaemin’s arm, he points to renjun who’s busy looking around the room. most likely overwhelmed with the amount of people inside a small space. “he’s older than jeno too, it’s about time someone takes his role as the oldest 00 liner.” he snickers.

“only for a month.” jeno rolls his eyes.

“yeah, but older nonetheless.” donghyuck shrugs his shoulders and turns his head towards the new kid.

“let’s go talk to him.” he grabs his two friends’ arms and pulls them to renjun.

“hi! i’m donghyuck, we’re born on the same year!” donghyuck flashes him a big smile.

“r-renjun.” he mumbles, looking down on the floor.

“you don’t have to be shy, we’re all going to be in the same group soon anyways.” donghyuck grabs his shoulders.

renjun scratches the side of his neck, the birthmark is glaring at jaemin with big neon signs that says ‘surprise! here’s what you’re looking for’ 

the smile on jaemin’s face melts, eyes widening at the sight. “jaemin, are you good?” jeno gently shakes his shoulder, “i’m fine, i just need some air. i’ll be back.” he quickly leaves the three alone, walking out of the room.

“why is he here? i still have five more years before i meet him.” he mutters to no one while pacing back and forth at the rooftop.

“fate, if you’re listening please tell me what’s going on.” he walks to the edge and raises his head to look at the sky.

a billboard at the next building catches his eye, ‘small gift for moms~’ 

“small gift?” he mumbles. a squawk grabs his attention, a bird is standing on an advertisement on top of a taxi, ‘instant pain relievers if you’ve been suffering for a long time!’ 

“suffering huh?” a small smile appears on his face.

“excuse me?” a shy voice snaps him out of his thoughts, he turns around and sees renjun at the doorway.

“i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable, i didn’t mean to steal your friends or anything.” he lowers his head.

“no, no. it’s fine, you can keep them.” jaemin reassures the younger.  “i’m jaemin by the way.” he holds out his hand.

“renjun.” he shakes his hand with a small grin. jaemin already feels himself falling in love.

"see you downstairs okay?" 

_yeah, this is worth it._

 

**Author's Note:**

> can't resist writing jaemren after jenren ;-; here's a jaemren 'soulmates(?)' au fic no one asks for.  
> also pls tell me what you think, i want to know your feedback on this omg


End file.
